February 4, 2022

Hi, y’all – 

Today has been a crazy, crazy day and all I can say is that God is SO good and I am so thankful for his provisions – wait until you hear why. 

As some of you know, we are experiencing some really crazy weather here in Texas.  Early Thursday morning we received a lot of precipitation and some really REALLY cold weather causing us to have a lot of snow and ice all over the place – especially on our roadways.  Schools closed on Thursday and Friday and most businesses decided to close on Thursday and some on both Thursday and Friday. 

Wednesday night I received notification from Texas Oncology that their offices would be closed on Thursday, which I expected, but they said nothing about Friday.   We anxiously watched the weather all day Thursday knowing that there was going to be extremely cold weather again That evening – we expected that my chemo appointment may get canceled for Friday.  I was hoping that my 8:30 am chemo appointment for Friday would be delayed until later in the day and not canceled but about 6 pm Thursday night i received the call that my chemo was canceled and would need to be rescheduled, however, I had an appointment with Dr. Hellerstedt and would I want to keep that appointment and have it virtually or reschedule it?

I honestly had forgotten that I had an appointment with Dr. H on Friday morning and since I am going to MD Anderson on Sunday for new scans next week, I decided to keep the appointment with her and do the call virtually.  Thank goodness I did.

This morning I met with Dr. H on our virtual call and we discussed the normal – how are you feeling?  Are you in any pain?  Do you need any med refills?  We talked about my scans on Monday and she told me how excited she was to see those, in fact, her words were “With an 82% reduction of the tumor in the last scans I expect that you’re on your way to a full Pathologic Response for no cancer once we are done.”  Then I asked about chemo and told her how disappointed I was that I was not going to be able to do chemo today – especially because I only have 5 sessions left (including today).  She understood and we discussed options – none of which her viable with me being out of town at the beginning of next week.  I asked if she was concerned if I missed chemo this week and made it up at the end and she explained that she was not.  She did say, “I would really like to see you get chemo today, especially since your scans are coming up.  Let me see what I can do.  Stay by your phone today and if I can make it work you will hear from us.”

Well, I waited by the phone however when I didn’t hear anything by about 1 pm, I figured it wasn’t going to happen.  Although I was disappointed, I did not allow this “setback” upset me. I just laughed and told Mano, as I said before this just makes me realize more and more that WE are not in control of anything.  Only God is in control.  We chatted and joked that this must be another one of those lessons that I needed to learn.  Mano said, “You’ve been bragging about almost being done.  God is just showing you that you need to count on him and not on yourself.”  I agreed and we went on about our day.

At 1:30 pm my phone rang with a number that I don’t recognize and I thought, “my car warranty must be expiring” and answered the phone.  It wasn’t about my car warranty, it was a nurse from Dr. H’s office who asked, “If I can get a hold of a pharmacist to come in to get your chemo ready could you meet me at Dr. H’s office at 2 pm today.”  Excitedly, I said, “Yes, you name the time and I will be there.”  She said, “Keep your phone handy and wait for my call.”  I promised that I would.

Almost another hour went by and I started thinking, she must not have been able to get a hold of a pharmacist, but by the GRACE OF GOD, my phone rang around 2 pm and she said, “Can you be here at 2:30 pm?” – Of course, I said “Yes.”  

I proceeded to grab my stuff and pack my bag – which for the record consisted of the essentials.  An orange to eat when I get hungry, two ice packs (one for my fingers and the other for my feet), a blanket because it’s cold and my iPad, and some downloaded movies because when you’re icing your fingers and toes you need something to distract you.  The feature of the day today was – Narco’s Mexico on Netflix.

Once packed and ready to go Mano took me and dropped me off while I GOT CHEMO TODAY – Taxol #5 (Actually #8) is officially IN THE BOOKS.  As of today, I only have 4 more treatments.  I am so STINKING happy.  I know once again that God’s hands were all over this.  I had prayed and asked him to do what he thought was best and if today needed to be an off day to allow me to rest, give my body some extra healing, keep us safe by not being on the road or whatever – then I would accept it.  But if there was any way at all and if it was HIS WILL that I get treatment today then I knew he would make it happen and HE DID.  

I am so thankful and so blessed to have:

• received chemo today against all odds
• have had that appointment with Dr. H today instead of a PA (God uses those he needs – she was part of his plan today)
• have all of you praying for me and my continued protection and healing on this journey.

I guess the moral of today’s story is:  Don’t lose faith, even when life doesn’t seem or feel like it’s going your way or according to your plan, KNOW that God is in control and HIS plan for you is BIGGER and BETTER than anything you could plan.  HIS plan is always for your good.  TRUST HIM.  He will show you his GRACE and his faithfulness.

So far, I am still on schedule for the next steps as follows:

• 02/07 – MD Anderson visit:  Consult with my breast reconstruction doctor, new ultra-sound to check the progress of the tumor (prayers for shrinking and even less mass than before), meeting with my oncologist.  (PRAYERS please for safe travels, positive results in the new scans, and good meetings with all doctors)
• 02/09 – MD Anderson visit:  Consult with my surgeon – prayers to secure surgery date tentative scheduled for 04/08, consult with Radiation Doctor.  Prayers that these will provide all details for me to make a decision for my surgical path (Prayers please for answers to make the right surgical decision).
• 02/11 – Taxol #4 (Actually #9) – Down to the last 1/4 of the race!!!
• 02/17 – Follow-up with ENT for the fluid in my right ear – moved from 02/03 due to bad weather
• 02/18 – Taxol #3 (Actually #10)
• 02/25 – Taxol #2 (Actually #11)
• 03/04 – Taxol #1 (Actually #12) – LAST DAY OF CHEMO!!!

I say it so often but I want you all to know that I am SO THANKFUL for all of you, my village, for those that follow, for those that reach out, for those that comment, and for those that just pray for me silently in the background.  You guys are my Warriors and the true hero’s in this story.  Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! 

Xo,

Tracy