August 10, 2023

Dear Alecia,

You don’t know me, but my name is Tracy Gialusis and I consider myself one of your many biggest fans. Your music has walked me through all of the major milestones in my life. Some days, I honestly wondered if we were living parallel lives.

I don’t know exactly what year, or date, it was that I heard one of your songs for the first time, because for as long as I can remember I’ve turned to your music to heal my pain, to share in my sadness, to heal my heart, and to uplift my soul.

I can remember when your album “I’m Not Dead” came out because it was during this time I was coming to terms that my second marriage was over. It was during this time that my best friend had been diagnosed with a terminal cancer and I knew she wasn’t going to survive. I remember when your album “Funhouse” came out, my best friend had passed, and I was on a trip to Ireland, sitting on a tour bus searching for answers on whether or not my marriage could be saved or not. I remember sitting on that bus and listening to that album, specifically the song “Please Don’t Leave Me”, over, and over, and over again. It was on this bus, and through your words, that the reality of my marriage ending penetrated every cell within my body. I remember hearing your song “F**ckin’ Perfect” for the first time and as those words washed over me thinking of my niece who has been fighting addiction for years, and thinking why can’t she see that she’s “F**kin’ Perfect” to me? Why can’t she see what I see? For the record it’s still one of my favorite songs, and yet it’s still a song that makes me cry every time I hear it, because my niece is still fighting the demons within.

I remember each album, and tour, “Can’t Take Me Home”, “Missundaztood”, “Try This”, “I’m Not Dead”, “Funhouse”, “Truth About Love”, “Beautiful Trama”, “Hurts 2B Human”, and “Trustfall” and the songs on those albums always seemed to magically align to something that was going on in my life and I wondered with each album, and each song, how did you know what was happening to me? I have always admired that you have lived your life, your truth, for you. I love that you haven’t apologized for being your authentic self. I have admired the way you have publicly shared the troubles with your marriage, and the way you have, and continue to, stand up for those who can’t fight for themselves (No kid should go hungry). I love that you believe in love, and truth, and equality, and independence, just to name a few. I love that you allow your children to experience life in a way that many parents don’t, including myself. I love who you are and that you are so willing to share parts of you with us with each word you write, each song you sing, and each tour that you pour yourself into. Thank you for that!

In late September 2021 I was diagnosed with Triple Negative Breast Cancer (TNBC) and once again you were with me, every step of the way. I remember the days that I sat in that chemo chair listening to your songs, drawing strength through every word. Your song, “That’s All I Know So Far” became my cancer journey anthem song. The words reminded me that each day was where I was supposed to be. Each treatment, I would sing with you. It’s through your words, your voice, that I was able to pick myself up and walk forward.

Over the years its through your music that I’ve been able to heal my heart, my body, and fill my soul. You are more to your fans than you will ever know. You’re our family.

I have traveled all over to see your concerts, usually to multiple states, dragging my friends, and family with me. I have always purchased your albums as soon as they were pre-released, and then I would anxiously wait for the official release date, savoring each single as they were slowly shared with us, your fans, your family. Once the album was released I listened to them, non-stop, until I knew all the words to the songs (backwards and forwards) and until the music became just another extension of my soul.

When the “Trustfall” tour dates were announced I opened my computer to start planning what shows, and what cities I was going travel to when low and behold, you had a show scheduled on MY birthday (8/12) at Wrigley Field in Chicago!!! Immediately I decided that this year rather than spend the time, and money flying all over to see multiple shows, I would spend the money to go VIP and see you in Chicago on my birthday. I knew it was a sign. It’s like you knew. You knew that I was on the other side of my cancer journey. You knew that I needed to see you again. Thank you for that.

Fast forward to today, two days before my birthday and I’ve just boarded a plane for Chicago where I’m meeting my best-friend for a weekend in Chi-Town and the see you, P!nk! I will be seated closer to the stage than I’ve sat before. I dream of hopefully getting close enough to get an autograph that I can tattoo on my body.

No matter how many times I’ve seen you, and no matter where it’s at, or whom I’m with, I still feel that it’s the first time. I still get butterflies in my stomach, and occasionally, I’ve been known to tear up the moment that you appear on that stage. Your songs that will have a permanent place in my life and in my heart.

When I decided to start blogging after my diagnosis I knew that the name of my website needed to be something unique. I knew that it needed to be a name that would honor me and you since you’ve been such a big part of my life. I chose the name Pink Is Not my Kolor (PINK) for many reasons. One, is because anyone who knows me knows that my favorite color is black and that pink was my least favorite color. The second reason was that the color pink, as everyone knows, is the official ribbon color honoring breast cancer warriors. The last reason I chose this name was that the acronym PINK honors you.

So before I close, let me just say. I believe we could be friends. We have so much in common. We both ride motorcycles. We are both strong, independent women. We are both survivors in different ways. We both enjoy shooting, writing, cooking, music, drinking wine, and I’m sure so much more. So, if you ever find yourself if the Dallas/Austin area please bring Carey and the kids and join Mano and myself at our new home in the little town of Evant, Texas anytime next year (as it’s still under construction at the moment). We can go for a motorcycle ride through the little country roads, shoot guns on the property, eat, drink, play games, and y’all can just relax and chill in our guest suite. I will protect your privacy and let y’all just relax.

I know that this is a BIG dream, but that’s what we’re suppose to do, right? Dream BIG? I can’t wait to see you on Saturday and share another magical moment together. I know you will hit that stage and give us, your fans, your family, the best version of you, just like you always do.

Thank you, and I mean sincerely, THANK YOU, for sharing yourself with me through your art. I love waking this walk with your tunes playing in my ears. Have an amazing show. Kick some ass. I know you will. I will continue to DREAM BIG and hopefully one day we’ll meet. Until then . . .

Xo,

Tracy