July 29, 2022

Happy Friday Y’all – I hope that you all are ready to begin your weekend and taking some time to get some relaxing moments in or just taking some time to do something that “feeds your soul!”  

Mano and I have snuck away for a small weekend getaway.  Since my WBC counts are lower than “normal”, although not critically low like before, but low enough that we did not feel comfortable getting on a plane and flying someplace we decided to stay in our great state of Texas and take some time to explore areas that we have not been before so off to the Stockyards in Fort Worth we went.  I will say in theory this was a great idea, however, in practice heading to the Stockyards in July and 100+ degree heat may not have been a well-thought-out decision.  

We decided to go for a walking tour of the Stockyards at noon yesterday which I will admit was a GREAT tour.  If you haven’t ever visited the Stockyards I would say taking the tour and visiting should be on your bucket list,  It was well worth it, but I would say, do it in October when the Texas heat has gone on vacation and not in July when Texas is having a heat-stroke!!!

As you know, I started round 2 of Xeloda on Tuesday this week which for me means that my headaches are back full force (good times!) and hindsight says that taking a walking tour that starts at noon in 100+ degree weather turned out to be not the best decision that we’ve ever had.  Thankfully, the tour was only an hour and at the end of that hour, Mano and I headed directly to a local restaurant for some COLD air, cold iced tea, and some good food and then back to the hotel for a much-needed nap for this girl.  For those that know me, you know that I never EVER nap so to admit that I needed to lay down was a big, big deal.  I truly believe that the heat exasperated the headache and made it much, much worse, which in turn made me start to fade quickly.  

This journey continues to remind me that I am not the Superwoman that I thought I was.  It has also taught me to listen to my body – which for many of us is difficult, me included.  It has also taught me to check in with myself each day and ask some questions such as:  “How do I feel?  What do I need today?  What is bothering me – emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually.”  I’ve learned that all of these areas of my life play a factor in not only how I am doing but what is standing in my way today, what is causing me heartache, draining me emotionally, or what is occupying my thoughts – is it something positive or have the negative emotions and thoughts gained some strength and are they taking up space?  I have found that I am much more in tune with myself, my thoughts, my emotions, and how I feel physically.  I have learned that my thoughts speak to my body and filling myself with positive thoughts affects my physical and emotional self.  I have found that I am much more in tune with what I allow myself to absorb – what I listen to, what I read, what I think about or meditate on, or what I chose to do and who I chose to do it with, etc.  Don’t get me wrong, I still indulge in my true-crime mysteries such as Dateline, however, I also take the time to fill my cup with meaningful songs, readings, thoughts, meditations, and positive people and I have FINALLY learned not to give space (mental or physical) to anyone or anything that is not worth the time, energy or space! 

Y’all have no idea how freeing that is!!! 

In fact, once you learn this for yourself, you will start to see that your life will be surrounded by those things that live in that frequency – surrounding yourself with positive thoughts, emotions, and people, will attract the same.  For those who remember the book written by Rhonda Byrnes, The Secret (link here) that took America by storm in 2006 you will recall what I’m saying is the principles that she wrote about.  Once you hear it and understand it you think – it sounds so easy, however, coming from a prior place where I allowed emotions such as anger, jealousy, frustration, sadness, etc. fill my mental and emotional space – I can honestly say – it’s not that easy.  TRUST ME – I know!!!  I also firmly believe that these emotions, this WASTED energy, is part of the reason why I have cancer.   I can expand on this in another post later.  I make a cognitive effort every morning and every evening to focus on the things that I am grateful for and I thank God every day for the people that surround me and fill my cup.  I can tell you this has made such a difference in my life and my healing.  Y’all I could go on and on for hours about this….. but I won’t, I think you get the point and hopefully you understand the message.

Mano and I are heading to Grandbury, TX where we will spend another couple of days together.  I am super excited to be seeing one of my favorite peeps or as I like to call her, my sister from another mister, Roni, today too.  Since Grandbury is close to where she lives she’s coming to hang out with us and do the Grandbury Ghost and Legends Tour (link here) with us tonight – so excited.  (Side note – Pray for Mano, you know how it is when two girlfriends get together.  He may not have a chance to get a word in tonight at all!!!)  I am including another link (here) for anyone interested in some really cool history of Grandbury.  This town packs a really big punch in some really neat things that you may find interesting.  

As always, I appreciate all of your thoughts, prayers, good vibes, cards, texts, Facebook and Instagram hearts, comments, and love.  I have the best village EVER!  Please know that you’re all part of the things that I am grateful for!! 

Xo,

Tracy 

P.S. Sharing some of our Stockyard photos for your viewing pleasure.  Mano and I went to Billy Bob’s Honkey Tonk (link here) last night which is a HUGE country bar.  It was so fun and I was up till midnight.  It’s amazing what a little nap can to do re-energize a girl.  Enjoy the photos.