October 30, 2021

Happy Saturday y’all! 🙂

Everyone has been wondering how I’m doing and how my week has been – well, let me tell you.  I have had a great week.  I felt good all week.   This week, I have:

• Worked every day
• Walked 1.5 miles (almost) every day
• Figured out that my “crash” day is Wednesday after chemo
• Learned that everything with cancer is “unpredictable” – more to come below
• Embraced each great moment and learned from each not so great moment
• Seen God’s blessings and provisions for my spiritual uplift – more to come below
• Heard that God has a plan for me to take forward as I go through this experience
• And so much more….

Let me give everyone a quick breakdown of my week below:

Monday – Sterriod high day

Monday was a good day.  I was able to work, eat, walk and enjoy the day. Monday is also the last day of steroids for me.  Steroids have always made me “wired for sound”, seriously y’all, I can clean your whole house on a steroid Monday.  I was up most of the night with all kinds of stuff going through my mind.  One of the most prevalent things is a conversation between God and myself.  It was so heavily pressed upon my heart that THIS experience, THIS blog, THIS path has greater things for me that are coming and that I am MEANT to go through this to provide a path to deliver a message on the other side of this experience.   I AM EXCITED Y’ALL!

Tuesday

Tuesday morning I received a text from my friend, Stephanie at 6:30 am supporting and solidifying the “talks” I was having with God the previous evening.  I ALMOST FELL OFF THE BED when I read her text.  I texted her back that I COULD NOT believe that she had sent that text and when we talked I would explain why I was saying that.  When we connected that day she explained to me that she was walking that morning, thinking about my blog writing and God impressed on her heart to send the text she did.  I almost cried.  God is so good y’all.  He validated for me the conversations the night before and has started the juices flowing and ideas for my next steps to get on the path he wants me to take.  Y’all will come with me…. I know you will.

Wednesday – Crash Day

I had taken an Ambien to get a good night’s sleep the night before, which I did.  The difference was most of the time I take an Ambien I wake up the next day – refreshed and alive.  This time I was tired and sluggish.  I knew then, this was going to be my crash day.  I did work all day, walk, etc. but when my day was done I was exhausted and headed to bed – like 8 pm.  I’ll take it!

Thursday – Feeling fantastic

Thursday I felt amazing.  I also received a text from my friend, Lisa Cantu, that she was in town and was going to come by for a visit.  I was so excited.  Lisa was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer over a year ago.  When she was diagnosed God pressed on my heart to support Lisa.  My family and I have prayed for Lisa every day since.  We pray for her every night at dinner.  I pray for her often.  I’ve written cards, sent small gifts, etc.  Well, tonight – we prayed together.  She prayed for me and I for her.  God is so good y’all!!!  Mano and I talked about it after she left at how our hearts were so full and our spirits lifted.   I.  CAN’T.  EVEN.

Friday – Labs, simple right?

Friday morning I had made plans to go to Physical Therapy for my arm, then labs, and back home to work. Simple, right?  Um, not so much.  PT went fine.  I had some time in between and needed to drop something off at the post office so I ran there and back to the Oncology office for labs.  I got my blood drawn and then met with the PA.  During that appointment we talked about my last chemo, the headaches, nausea, am I doing to the bathroom okay? (apparently, I’m a toddler again), etc.  The PA noticed that my left leg had some swelling but my right leg did not so to rule out a blood clot (yes, a blood clot) now I had to go get an ultrasound.  Hilariously enough, I was laughing inside, it resonated in me that we THINK we are in control BUT we are NOT!  Only God is in control.  So off I went from labs to the hospital to get my ultrasound and make sure that I did not have a blood clot.  On the walk to the hospital, since it’s right next door and I didn’t want to lose my great parking spot and I needed the walk anyways, I called Mano.   The call went like this:

T:  Hi honey.  

M: Hi beautiful (yes, that is what he calls me – I have thanked God for his blindness for years – LOL)

T:  Well good news – My MRI came back clean.  There is no metastasis (of cancer) in my sternum.  It’s just some calcifications probably from my car accident a long time ago.  ((Side note:  PRAISES!)

M:  That’s good news.

T:  Yep it is.  But now I have to go for an ultrasound to make sure that I don’t have a blood clot.  My left leg has some fluid in it but my right leg is fine so they are being extra cautious.  I’m walking there now.  Of course, I left the house this morning without any water or eating breakfast because I thought I would be right back home – so I’m starving and thirsty.  You know if I do have a blood clot they are not going to let me go home and I will be admitted to the hospital, right?

M:  Yep, just let me know.

T:  If that happens, I will need you to go get me some lunch, because I’m starving.  Oh and you may need Shane or Cory to come with you because the Tahoe is here and someone will need to drive it home.

M;  The ONE time I let you go alone.  

T:  I know. Okay, I’m here. I love you.  

M:  Love you too.  Call me as soon as you know anything.

T:  I will.  Bye.

M:  Bye

Do you see how funny this is?  I am learning, and trust me when I say this is my lesson.  That nothing is in my control.  NOTHING.  I know you’re wondering, am I writing this from the hospital or home.  Good news – I’m home.  No blood clot.  I do have low white blood cell counts and I’m susceptible to infection right now.  So, no visitors for me.  Instead. I think Mano and I are going to take the motorcycles out for a ride after I finish my acupuncture appointment today..  I will post a picture because I feel great. 

In closing:

• If you see me out walking my dogs or just walking, please don’t approach me for a hug because your simple cold germ could end me up in the hospital and I’m not great with being confined to a hospital bed and watching TV all day.  
• Learn to roll with the punches – we are all too Blessed to be Stressed (shout out to Stephanie for my new book)
• Embrace your health.  You have no idea how lucky you are until you don’t have it.
• Look for the BLESSINGS in everything and express GRATITUDE.  (I have gratitude flowing through my veins.  During my walk to the ultrasound I was thanking God that I have a job, a great boss, an amazing support system, and HEALTH INSURANCE – do you know how huge that is??)

Sending my love to you all!  Happy Saturday – if you see me on my Harley later honk loud and proud because I am LIVING with cancer – not the opposite!

Xo,

Tracy